The good and bad thing about time is that it always marches on. When Stephen Colbert revealed 10 months ago that CBS had canceled The Late Show, we were outraged, but we had the cushion of one final season. At least we still had some time! Now there are only two weeks left in the season and the last Late Show is barreling towards us — make it stop! Last week the New York Times checked in with Colbert on his feelings about heading into the final run. In short: he has many. This week the newspaper reached out to the show’s first and only other host, David Letterman, for his thoughts on the demise conclusion of his old gig. Without straying too far from his idiosyncratic tone of serene comical whimsy, Dave did not mince words when he called CBS “lying weasels” for canceling Colbert. Here’s more from his conversation with the Times’ Jason Zinoman:
What was your first thought when you found out “The Late Show,” which you helped create and where you served as the first host, was canceled?
Disbelief. Then it seemed like a botched holdup. When we got the facts about the Ellison family [David Ellison, with backing from his father, Larry, bought CBS’s parent company, Paramount Global], I took great delight in referring to the principal as the Ellison Twins. I was later corrected and told it’s just one guy. I didn’t care and I still refer to him as twins. There’s also the old man, Larry. Is it in fact Larry?Yes.
As best I understand it, he invented the Slinky. And the Ellison twins are willy-nilly spending the old man’s money. So that was what ran through my head. Then I wondered: What the hell have they done to Stephen [Colbert]? And I would say farther down on the list is your point: Wait a minute, this used to be my show. It’s like driving by your old neighborhood and realizing that where you used to live, they’re putting up an adult bookstore.Are you far enough away from hosting “The Late Show” that you don’t feel a sense of ownership anymore?
Yes. Time has separated me from the genealogy of the show. On the other hand, if there’s outrage to be directed at management, either real or imagined, I’m all in. Let’s go.CBS says it canceled “The Late Show” because of financial reasons. Do you believe that?
They don’t share the books with me. All of television seems to have been nicked by digital communication and streaming platforms and on and on. TV may be not the money machine it once was. On the other hand, what about the humanity for Stephen and the humanity of people who love him and the humanity for people who still enjoyed that 11:30 respite?He was dumped because the people selling the network to Skydance said, “Oh no, there’s not going to be any trouble with that guy. We’re going to take care of the show. We’re just going to throw that into the deal. When will the ink on the check dry?” I’m just going to go on record as saying: They’re lying. Let me just add one other thing, Jason. They’re lying weasels. [Asked to comment, a spokesman for CBS said, “Unequivocally a financial decision.”]
Since late night seems to be on the wane …
We still have Jimmy. We still have Seth [Meyers]. It’s not completely dead on arrival, but I would be surprised if it lasts more than a year or so. But it’s such an easy soothing format that it’s got to stay on.You’d be surprised if late night survives another year or so?
Well, maybe specific shows. I don’t think it’ll ever go away because it’s just the best. It’s humans talking to humans.
First of all, for any kids and/or earnest believers reading this: no, Larry Ellison did not invent the Slinky. Do not give him the honor of having created something simply joyful! That little bit cleared up, I have absolutely no objection to David Letterman referring to David Ellison as “the Ellison Twins,” despite being one singular person (allegedly). He has a younger sister who also spends their father’s money, but Letterman does not seem to know this.
As for Letterman calling CBS “lying weasels” for canceling Colbert under the claim of “financial reasons,” here I must respectfully disagree with Dave. It was for financial reasons, namely the $16 million settlement CBS was paying out to Trump, and to sweeten the deal for Trump to sanction the Paramount-Skydance merger. Those are just facts! But no really, it’s all horsesh-t. Losing talk shows is not only a danger to democracy, but to our souls. I agree with Letterman that we need humans talking to humans, but it feels like too many are talking to AI chatbots instead.
Lastly, a burning question: why was Seth Meyers’ last name clarified, when there is only one on the late night scene, but not Jimmy’s, when we have Fallon and Kimmel? And which one was Letterman referring to??
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