Nacho Figueras really is a major player in the Sussex Squad, I swear to God. He’s legitimately tight with Prince Harry and Meghan, and Nacho and Harry basically treat each other like brothers. But Nacho also pays attention to the deranged attacks on Harry and Meghan and he claps back in the same way the Sussex Squad does. Nacho heard that people were obsessing over Meghan’s American Riviera Orchard jam, so he was like: I’m going to post about Meghan’s ARO jam on my Instagram too. He didn’t put it on his Stories either!
Meanwhile, Meghan’s ARO jam has been THE major headline in the British media all week. The Daily Mail has run at least six major columns in which their cadre of screaming banshees has tried to mock Meghan for… sending jam to her friends. The Mail is also consulting with brand experts to figure out why Meghan is FORCING them to cover the minutiae of Meghan’s jam. Meanwhile, instead of running yet another exclusive about Prince Work From Home, Tom Sykes at the Daily Beast did a back-and-forth conversation with Senior Editor Tim Teeman, all about… jam. You cannot make this up:
Tom Sykes: I have to be honest, there are lots of things I don’t understand about the launch of American Riviera Orchard. For starters, it seems really strange to me to do a big social media campaign, like the one we’ve been sold over the past few days, but not have any product actually available for the punters to buy. There is not even a functioning website. When you go to the ARO website it just gets you to enter your email address for updates.
Tim Teeman: Sure, it’s not user-friendly, but I can think of nothing more camp than making a launch of strawberry jam and mysterious homewares as hush-hush and mysterious as a Taylor Swift album release. It also sticks it to the media (that Meghan and Prince Harry can’t abide), who are currently, futilely trying to get hold of this jam, jars of which are presently reserved for the hands and mouths of selected friends and influencers. Isn’t it genius marketing? Create a product, create a buzz around the product, make everyone curious, and keep it out of the hands of your media tormentors for as long as possible.
Tom: For me, it’s slightly baffling; a soft launch for a brand which doesn’t have any products—huh? The other thing is, jam is actually pretty far from being a healthy product. It has a lovely, homely appeal, but watching jam being made has the same effect as watching sausages being made; you realize, with horror, that it’s literally 50 percent sugar and the fruit is boiled for so long that it must retain very little in the way of natural vitamins…
Tim: Sure, but jam is beloved for all the reasons you place as the case-against-it. Jam is proudly retro, never uncool, and always sweet and comforting—a pantry perennial utterly impervious to food fads and trends. Jam just stays the course. It has blessedly nothing to do with wellness, or health—as so much does these days. It’s just a little sweet, sugary puddle of happy.
Tom: …I imagine it’s also an astonishingly hard business to actually make any money from. Even if you sell a jar of jam for $10, it seems like a finite amount of people are gonna be interested in buying a pot, and it’s probably gonna sit in the refrigerator for many months. Also, you can buy delicious jam for $5 because all jam is the same: boiled sugar and fruit. Taken altogether, that’s why I think that actually American Riviera Orchard is not going to be selling jam, that is not the business plan. This is really just a branding exercise isn’t it? And let’s be honest it has worked: American Riviera Orchard has been on the tip of all our tongues this weekend.
Tim: I think Meghan’s been canny with this launch, as it also reminds the Brits, especially those who remain fans of her and Harry, that she’s still tapped into some Brit passions. And Americans, who have some pretty pallid mass market jellies, now have a jam product that bridges the Atlantic. Also, whatever she is or isn’t ultimately selling, the launch of the brand sticks it to Harry and Meghan’s critics who whine about them freeloading and not making their own money. And King Charles got into royal-branded jam long before Meghan. So, they can’t be snide about her, without being snide about him.
Like… just admit that you’re Meghan’s biggest fans. You’re obsessing over what her gift baskets mean, you’re fussing over the sugar content of jams, you’re pontificating about launch strategies, you’re obsessing over what it all means. Congrats, you’re one of Meghan’s biggest fans and you find her a fascinating enigma wrapped in a riddle, covered in artisanal jam.
Photos courtesy of Instagram, Cover Images.