British commentators are still crashing out over the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s Australian tour. While we’ve seen this many, many times before – Colombia, Nigeria, Jordan, Paris Fashion Week, all of the Invictus Games – the difference this time is that they visited a British Commonwealth realm which still has King Charles as their head of state. I predicted that these commentators would be ranting about it for at least a full month, if not longer. I absolutely believe that they’re still going to be throwing tantrums about Australia during King Charles’ US state visit next week too, as they simultaneously try to make “Charles refuses to see Harry during the state visit” into a story. Well, The Sun’s Jane Moore had a big rant about the old “take away their titles” chestnut. Did she get a call from a fully-in-the-bag Prince William?
Milking their “Duke and Duchess” titles for all their worth, the Montecito grifters have just completed a Down Under “royal tour” by any other name. They hugged fans, made a visit to a children’s hospital, and sent out an “operational note” to journalists which came from “The Office of Prince Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess”.
Except this time, it proved very lucrative indeed. Particularly for Meghan, who reportedly pocketed £120k for a 90-minute meet and greet at some wellness event in Sydney. At the same time, she monetised her outfits via a partnership with an online fashion website where people can click and buy the clothes she wears and she gets a cut. Kerching. Kerching.
Remember when our late Queen — who would have been 100 this week — told Harry and Meghan that they couldn’t be “half-in, half-out” members of the Royal Family and they flounced off to America in a hissy fit? Well, four years after her death, they are “royals for sale” and no one seems able, or perhaps willing, to stop them.
Prince William, one feels, would remove their titles in a heartbeat given half the chance. But it seems that King Charles, about to embark on a state visit to the States, is perhaps paralysed by his love and responsibility to his troubled youngest son, and maybe a spot of guilt too.
Guilt that Harry seemed all too happy to exploit when, during the same Oz tour, he gave a talk about mental health and said he hoped his parenting would be an “upgrade” on his own experience. Britain tired of the Sussexes’ constant “woe is us” narrative a long time ago, and recently it seems as though America has tired of it too.
So now they’re having to globe-trot to find new buyers for their pity party. But when the rest of the world tires of it, as it will, what then? They might have to get a proper job.
I know I should take a principled stance and I have many times in the past six years, but these hateful people have actually worn me down. At this point, I really don’t care about those fakakta titles. The thing is, I’m pretty sure Harry doesn’t care either – he said himself that he offered to give up the Sussex title as part of the exit deal. They didn’t take him up on the offer. And why would they? The Windsors want Harry and Meghan to have those titles so that the left-behinds can clout-chase H&M. The titles are the ties that bind for the left-behinds.
In any case, they would have you believe that Scooter King William’s first order of business will be removing the Sussex titles and banning Harry and Meghan from the UK and from Charles’ funeral. The reality might be quite different, given that William and Kate’s big “plan” regarding Harry and Meghan is “to literally go into hiding” whenever the Sussexes come to town. But sure, maybe the titles will be removed. And so be it. Harry will still have a beautiful wife, beautiful kids, a California mansion and millions in the bank. And William will still be a jealous loser.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images.
