Do you never quite feel comfortable in fancy restaurants? Here’s a cheat sheet for blending in like a real gourmet:
1. Don’t be afraid to drink the tap.
One of the first questions a server will ask is what is your water preference? Novice diners will feel compelled to order bottled still or sparkling water, but the filtered tap is actually just fine. Experts save money for something else — like dessert.
2. Speaking of which, save room for dessert.
By the time the dessert and cheese menu is presented, most diners are stuffed to the brim. But you really should save room for dessert. Fine dining restaurants and even the more avant-garde young kitchens, such as RYLA in Hermosa Beach, are putting out creative desserts such as layered matcha parfaits, or the “banana cream pie” napoleon at Newport Beach’s Marché Moderne with pecan salted graham cookie brittle and rhum de martinique-infused banana jam.
The pastry departments at fine dining restaurants are expected to run at the same tempo as the rest of the kitchen, meaning that the desserts shouldn’t disappoint. Ask your server for options that hold up for takeout. Of course, they won’t be as good as eating it at the restaurant, but it’s not a bad way to sample something sweet if you’re already stuffed.
3. No alcohol? No problem.
If you’re not imbibing alcohol these days, don’t fret. Michelin-starred restaurants such as Knife Pleat at South Coast Plaza have upped their zero-proof beverage game. Now, drinking housemade non-alcoholic gin and tequila are en vogue, especially when mixed into cocktails such as a zero-proof negronis or blood orange margaritas created by Celeste Ordoñez.
At Knife Pleat, chef Tony Esnault’s tasting menu offers a series of these beverages in lieu of a wine pairing. Even restaurants such as Sushi Roku at Fashion Island offer zero-proof espresso martinis, an alcohol-free version of the trendiest drink to imbibe right now.
4. You’re eating it wrong!
I hate to break it to you, but you’ve probably been incorrectly eating sushi. First off, forgo the chopsticks. At a Michelin-recognized sushi bar or omakase — such as Hana re at The Lab in Costa Mesa or Omakase by Gino in downtown Santa Ana — when the nigiri or sushi is set before you, use your fingers.
Chef Nobu Matsuhisa explained the proper way to eat sushi at his namesake restaurant at Lido Marina Village in Newport Beach. If you’re right-handed, tilt the sushi so the fish sits on the left side. Then, gently dip the fish — not the rice, never the rice! — in soy sauce. Then place the entire nigiri in your mouth — one bite. Trained sushi chefs will gauge each morsel for the diners they’re serving so it should be just enough.
5. Screw-top wines are … cool?
It’s hard to imagine but screw-top wines are actually not as tacky as you might think. Much like rosé wine, which was once relegated to a summer beverage for amateur vinophiles, screw-top wines and composite corks are finding their way onto fine dining menus. It really depends on the wine, insists award-winning California winemaker Shalini Sekhar. Certain grapes and styles of wine benefit from these alternative bottling methods.
For the boutique pinot noir blend that she created with Apple Music guru Xander Soren, Sekhar discovered that composite corks might be the next move for sustainable wine producers who are directly affected by climate change. Drought weather changes the grapes — from altering the amount of sugar that the fruit naturally forms to the miniscule size of the grapes when the growers are forced to push up the annual harvest.
Using pieces of cork fused with beeswax, winemakers such as Sekhar found a wine phellem that seals their precious bottles, allowing them to simultaneously preserve and age the wine. Sekhar’s Xander Soren Wine vintages are available at two Michelin-starred restaurants including n/naka in Los Angeles, Single Thread in Healdsburg, and Niku Steakhouse in San Francisco.
6. Skip the holidays!
The holidays are rough for restaurants. It’s tricky because all restaurants love to be full, especially during the holidays. But there are certain celebratory days — Valentine’s and Mother’s Day being the biggest offenders — where fine dining restaurants really have to push through to shine. First off, there’s usually a set menu for these holidays. It’s easy to churn out because the idea is to get your table in and out so the next reservation can dine.
So, if you really love a place, it’s better to eat out before or after the holiday. You’ll get the real essence of the restaurant. The servers won’t be as rushed and the kitchen shouldn’t be as slammed as they would be on a holiday. You can really enjoy your experience. That also goes for restaurant week, which is a great way to get a taste of a place. The set menus during that time are typically what most people order. So if you want to experience the real menu, come back another week.
7. Deciphering the menu: prix fixe vs. à la carte.
What if you can’t decide between the prix fixe menu, which is a set number of courses selected by the chef, or ordering à la carte, where guests select individual dishes to build their own meal?
Think of the prix fixe menu as the chef’s journey. It’s what they think best defines the restaurant at the moment. This experience will feature dishes that best represent the kitchen’s ethos — the chef’s style of cooking — and it’s also where they can show off some seasonal ingredients. (Ramps, anyone?) The portions are smaller than à la carte dishes, but that’s because you’re getting just the right amount of food.
8. The best seats at the hottest restaurants aren’t in the dining room.
At popular restaurants, such as Napa Rose inside Grand Californian Hotel & Spa at Disneyland, securing a reservation takes serious planning. Bookings fill up weeks — maybe even months — in advance.
Surprisingly, one of the best seats in the house, according to Orange County food writers and Magic Key season pass holders, is at the bar. This is where you’ll be able to order from the entire Napa Rose menu and you can also chat with Joe, the bartender. Joe Monje has worked at Napa Rose since it opened.
More ‘How to Do Anything’
This story is part of a collection of stories printed in August 2024.
‘Life at the Dumpling’: How a family newsletter became a guidebook on good living
Learn how to dig for vinyl and rediscover the joy of real records
Here’s how to have the most enjoyable experience at the Hollywood Bowl
10 hacks for making guests think you’re the perfect hostess
Read more ‘How to Do Anything’
More SCNG Premium content
In 2012, Monje, along with Matt Ellingson and Ryland Brown, created 20 specialty cocktails for Napa Rose. He still knows all the drinks and loves figuring out what diners really want to imbibe.
“I always ask the guest, what is your favorite spirit?” says Joe Monje. “Then I’ll go from there. We’re very lucky that the chefs make the dishes for us so we can try the food and explain it.”
This allows him to pair cocktails or wine with the food prepared by executive chef Clint Chin.
Much like an old-school bartender, Monje chats about life and doles out inspirational advice. He amassed a following of loyal guests for suggestions like this: “Smiling Tiger Salad goes well with a dry riesling or with a gin cocktail. It’s one of my favorites. My kind of flavors, the spicy beef. It hasn’t changed. The mushroom bisque cappuccino is also popular. Chef is incredible. Guests love it so that’s why Napa Rose is successful.”
The mushroom bisque “cappuccino” comes with a thyme foam; the Smiling Tiger Salad is accompanied with crispy shrimp fritters and tossed in a lemongrass-coconut vinaigrette.
9. Seek out the sommelier.
Even if you’re not ordering the wine pairing, it’s best to ask for the restaurant’s sommelier. They’re trained experts in wine and worked closely with the chef to select bottles that best pair with the food. If you’re enjoying just one glass with your meal, this is where the sommelier’s expertise is best put at use. So what if you can’t remember that varietal, region, year or vintage, the house sommelier will be able to guide you in the right direction. They’ll ask about your preferences: dry, smokey, sweet, red, white, acidity, body/mouthfeel, sparkling? Next, they should inquire about what you’ve selected to eat.
Remember, don’t get intimidated by their prestigious titles or extensive training. The sommelier is here to serve you. Their goal is to enhance your dining experience by pairing the ideal beverage to complement the meal. Cheers!