WHAT a week it’s been for progress, eh?
First the simple joy of changing gear is put on life support because some plonkers in the motor industry decided to make more automatic cars.
BBC‘Plonker,’ the favourite insult of Only Fools and Horses’ Del Boy is out of fashion with Gen Z[/caption]
GettyGen Z are more keen on calling you ‘basic’ (ordinary), ‘delulu’ (delusional) or ‘salty’ (bitter and resentful)[/caption]
Then the Swiss army knife switches from being the world’s most famous penknife to its greatest misnomer, after some blighter at the company axed the blade.
And now another berk has drawn up a list of insults that are apparently on the way out, too.
Some ninny thought it was a good idea to ask the Generation Z numpties what traditional insults they didn’t know.
And it’s a case of Never Mind The Pillocks
Turns out these drips have hardly heard of slurs like, well, all the ones I’ve just used.
A staggering 15 barbs that built Britain are on the scrapheap now, including: Cad, toerag, nitwit, and that Scottish favourite, bampot.
A Gen Zzzzz-er would feel like a complete lummox for using these words.
And these scallywags think you’re a tosspot for using them — but they won’t call you that.
Instead you’ll be branded “basic” (ordinary), “delulu” (delusional) or “salty” (bitter and resentful).
Well, we didn’t fight two world wars for the right to call someone we find objectionable a “Karen”.
Of course I’m being facetious, you great big ha’porth.
But I can’t be the only grumpy git who thinks these new insults are just a little, well, basic.
Linguists have put the shift down to “fashion”, claiming it’s all part of language’s constant evolution.
But it is sad that some of our greatest insults are being jettisoned for the kind of text talk nonsense that is slowly turning the generations that come after us into gibbering idiots.
The kind of snowflake-speak that is bowdlerising our lexicon in case it does actually offend someone.
(Yeah, I said “bowdlerising” kids, look it up you spotty wazzocks!)
Take a look at what is coming in and what is going out, below, and you’ll see I’m right.
And not just some stuck-in-the-past prat.
OUT
Lummox
Bampot
Blighter
Ninny
Cad
Drip
Tosspot
Toerag
Pillock
Plonker
Nitwit
Prat
Scallywag
Git
Numpty
IN
Karen – entitled or overly demanding.
Basic – used to make fun of those who like mainstream music/fashion/trends.
Delulu – someone who holds unrealistic beliefs (delusional).
Extra – dramatic/over the top.
Jit – insult used on someone who is inexperienced.
Mid – average/not that good-looking.
NPC – non-player character, ie someone who can’t think for themselves.
Salty – someone who is being bitter/resentful.
Simp – being overly affectionate when pursuing a relationship.
Sus – someone who is acting suspiciously.