This week is a continuation of my anniversary column that addresses what I have learned from our readers this past year.
Repeated stories. The question of how to deal with friends who consistently repeat their stories was addressed by a few readers. One reader suggested we listen to her podcast “Three Old Broads and a Lady” with a subheading, “Remembering the Last 7 Decades Unless We Forget, Then We Make It Up.” She agrees life stories are important for both the storyteller and audience. Another reader offered one reason an older person may repeatedly tell the same story. She wrote, “Often a person who is retired may have nothing new to contribute to a conversation.” She added that telling the same stories again may make the individual feel more included. That is how this reader described her uncle, whom she described as brilliant but who did not know how to engage with others in a conversation.
Dementia. Dementia is always a topic of concern. Here’s a resource suggested for people living with dementia around holiday time. The organization is Dementia Friendly America, which is an outgrowth of the 2015 White House Conference on Aging. Among other services, it offers a toolkit to support people planning a dementia-friendly holiday event. See dfamerica.org/about/. Check out if there is an organization in your state.
Hearing loss. I was reminded by a reader to emphasize the relationship between untreated hearing loss and dementia. Hearing loss is a risk factor. Yet, it does not mean a person with hearing loss will develop dementia. However, there is a strong connection, which should be a motivator to get our hearing checked and get hearing aids if needed. If we can control a risk factor for dementia, we should do it.
Assisted living and home care are a rising cost many seniors can’t afford
The birthday thing. Another reader who was celebrating his 82nd birthday writes that when he looks in the mirror, he sees his mother who died at 93. I guess that he may have noticed his mother’s baggy arms. He noticed his own and decided to ignore them by buying long-sleeved shirts. A woman age 60 is anxiously anticipating her 60th birthday and cannot believe she may be viewed as “older” or “old” by others. To counteract this apparent dread, she and her friends have made a conscious decision to embrace their age by celebrating collectively throughout their birthday year. Turning 60 was important to another reader. She expected to feel satisfied and is not. This same reader asked me how I felt or would feel when my number is up. Assuming she was referring to my “age number,” my response was, “I don’t know if I have a number.”
Falls. Falls continue to plague our older readers. Here is a lesson learned shared by another reader. She was walking her dog when a neighbor’s dog threatened her and her dog. She hastily crossed the street to escape and misjudged the distance between her jogging shoe and the top of the curb. The curb caught her shoe, and she “went flying through the air,” she writes. The result was a broken shoulder and torn rotator cuff that required surgery for a shoulder replacement. She is in her seventh month of a painful recovery. Her advice: “Be aware of your surroundings and don’t be in a rush.” I have a friend who gave me this advice about falls. “Instead of being careful, just be intentional.”
A variety of responses. I learned my columns often have a life of their own. An instructor on Successful Aging at a Senior Center brings my columns to class. Students select one, take it home and prepare to make a presentation based on the column for the next class. Then there was the email describing a positive impact of ageism. An older reader was returning an item and did not have the receipt. She wrote that the salesclerk gave her a break because she was “elderly” and consequently could be trusted. In response to the column on “Potential,” another reader wrote, “I now look at myself in the mirror, first thing in the morning, and say to myself, ‘I can’t wait to see to see what I will be doing next year.’”
So, these were just a few of the many topics. Others included comments about employment, politics, legacy, friendship, exercise, purpose and more.
As I complete my 25th year and embark on my 26th, I continue to commit to listening and providing the latest research, perspectives and practices that lead to successful and optimal aging. And occasionally a bit of opinion and personal experience will be thrown in for good measure.
Thank you to the Southern California News Group for again providing this incredible platform to reach readers every week.
To each of you – good health, joy and successful aging.
Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity.