Watered-down Animal Farm from Andy Serkis will have you spitting feathers

George Orwell’s 1945 classic novel Animal Farm remains a secondary school staple.

But any youngsters tempted to skip actually reading it, be warned: this new cartoon version plays loosey-goosey with the original – particularly when it comes to the new feel-good (!) ending.

Relocated from England to rural America, the story otherwise starts fairly faithfully. A mean, drunken farmer neglects and mistreats his animals. Facing repossession, he is about to pack his livestock off on what they trustingly believe is a jolly ‘vay-cay’ – but is in fact an abattoir.

Alert: if your children can’t read the word ‘slaughterhouse’, or you aren’t prepared to discuss why animals are being dispatched to a glue factory (it’s not to buy a Pritt Stick, kids!), best avoid this movie.

Mercifully, the animals quickly – way too quickly – oust the humans and gain control of the farm, led by the pigs.

Their initial leader is Snowball (Laverne Cox), a democratic socialist porker who establishes key Orwellian rules such as ‘All animals are equal’ and ‘Four legs good, two legs bad.’

However, Snowball is soon – way too soon – overthrown by Napoleon (Seth Rogen), a boarish dictator driven by greed and power.

Crucially and controversially, two new key characters have been added: a perky little piglet called Lucky (Stranger Things’ Gaten Matarazzo), who becomes our cutesy new hero, and a mean tech billionairess (Glenn Close), who snarls ‘I want that farm’ and drives an electric car.

This is where it all starts to go wobbly. Writer Nicholas Stoller (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Get Him To The Greek) has updated Orwell’s allegory from Soviet totalitarianism to modern corporate corruption. In theory, that’s all fine and good.

Stoller’s Napoleon is less Stalin, more Trump: a big, fat, greedy pig who consistently lies through his tusks, gets rid of anyone smarter than him and declares: ‘Whoever said that absolute power corrupts absolutely is a big, whiny LOSER!’

But the clarity of Orwell’s bleak political allegory is entirely watered down within what becomes a confusingly cosy coming-of-age kids’ caper. The flashy, incoherent climax involves robots, henchmen, lasers and underwater escapes, as Lucky and his chums lead a mission titled ‘Operation Party Pooper’.

Speaking of pooping, there are plentiful fart gags – the lazy crowd-pleaser of almost every kids’ animation. Yet there’s a pong of desperation about these. As Napoleon lets rip a massive one, grunting, ‘This is the sound of freedom,’ you can feel Orwell spinning in his grave.

The CGI is bland, rosy-tinted and featureless. Meaning it falls entirely to a stupendously starry voice cast to round out the characters. Kieran Culkin plays a snivelling pig, Steve Buscemi a banker and Kathleen Turner a nihilistic donkey. Best of all is Woody Harrelson as Boxer, the naive and trusting workhorse who also hefts the extra burden of narrator. He’s lovely.

In an age of strongman leaders, we have never been in more need of Orwell’s Animal Farm. But this animated adaptation lacks not just teeth and claws – it lacks soul.

Ironic, given it’s directed by Andy Serkis, the actor-turned-director who imbued Gollum, King Kong and Caesar in Planet Of The Apes with Oscar-worthy humanity.

And don’t get me started on the cringe rap music. This is the equivalent of Peter Rabbit twerking. While I’m all for making this story accessible for children, you can do that without dumbing down.

The nursery-level conclusion that ‘what is always right is helping each other’ would have anyone spitting feathers.

Animal Farm hits cinemas on Saturday, July 18.