‘Being the only mixed-race person on Virgin Island took me back to my childhood’

When Virgin Island caused a ruckus last summer, it was called ‘exploitative’, a ‘public health danger’, and ‘a new low for Channel 4’.

For 26-year-old virgin Marianne, though, she saw hope. ‘When I watched it, I said, “Oh my god, this is something that could really help,”’ she tells Metro. 

Six months later, Marianne found herself on that Croatian island, being dragged out of the barriers that kept her deprived of sex and intimacy her whole life by world-leading sexologists Celeste Hirschman and Dr Danielle Harel, whose unconventional methods have proven to be controversial enough for the Ofcom complaints.

Every day presents a new challenge for the virgins: a new, daunting workshop where they confront their greatest fears when it comes to the most basic level of erotica and desire. 

From having their genitals fondled to experiencing arousal in an environment that feels safe for them, to re-enacting the Kama Sutra, the participants are thrown straight into the deep end, but with a specialist to hold their hand along the way.

It’s a surprisingly heartwarming watch, and the methods, controversial or not, clearly work if you ask any of their patients.

Holly Stark, who appeared on season one, is pregnant 11 months after her series aired, and Marianne insists she’s a completely reformed woman after a month of throwing herself into the experiment. If anything, she feels sorry for anyone who isn’t able to experience the level of sexual therapy she did.

‘It was amazing, you really activate a different part of your brain,’ she says.
‘You just realise how long you’ve gone without actually listening to your body, and getting the true curiosity of “What actually works for me? What do I really like? What am I really noticing about the other person?”

‘It makes me sad thinking that a lot of people won’t get to experience this. I think for youngsters, it would build trust between genders, trust between communication. Obviously, it needs to be in a very safe environment.’

One of the most glaring takeaways from watching Virgin Island is the totally inaccurate misconceptions around virginity. Virginity comes in all bodies, all characters, a vast spectrum of life experiences. There is no prototype of an adult virgin.

Before going to the island, Marianne guarded herself from men. Growing up in South Africa, she was only one of three mixed-race pupils in her school, which had a long-lasting impact on her relationship with sex. ‘Obviously, there’s racism everywhere, but the racism in South Africa is very in your face. No one wanted to date mixed-race people; it was not a thing.

‘I wasn’t black enough, I wasn’t white enough, I didn’t know who I was. I knew from a young age I had opportunities to sleep with people, but I had a gut feeling, “This is going to negatively impact me. With my ADHD, I tend to get addicted to random patterns and things and experiences I really carry within me. I knew that if I did this, it wasn’t time, I wouldn’t enjoy it, it wouldn’t be true to myself, and I would just do it for validation, so I just shut everything down.’

Marianne eventually moved to London to study, with a bright-eyed hope that everything would be different when she arrived in the UK, that she would be entering an entirely new world. ‘I just found the same thing,’ she says. ‘People just wanted me as a token.’

When she met her Virgin Island cast mates, she was instantly confronted with a similar isolation she faced growing up. Marianne is the only person of colour in the entire cast. She was quickly assured that production had done their due diligence; other people of colour had initially been cast but dropped out at the last minute.

‘I suddenly felt like I was being surveyed,’ she says. ‘I suddenly got back to my childhood. People are so curious about how a mixed-race person would look that I felt stressed, “I’m now on an island with this feeling,” so I knew I needed to cry it out, which I did, and I breathed. I know if I needed to call my twin, I could, so I had a little sulk and assessed, “Do I feel supported by these people? Yes.” Then I ran with that feeling.’

Thankfully, she stayed – not only for herself, but for her twin sister too. 

Marianne’s journey will no doubt resonate with so many viewers, but no one more so than her sister, who has lived through the same traumas and subsequently built the same barriers protecting her virginity. Since leaving the island, Marianne’s newfound wisdom hasn’t only changed her life, opening her eyes to a world of trust, but it’s starting to transform her twin’s too.

‘My twin has the same… things,’ Marianne shares. ‘She also found that me on the show has helped her. 

‘We’re very close, we talk about sex, and she knows 99% of everything about me. She was like, “You have to tell me everything, take all the tight notes, list all the things from the workshop that will help me.” That’s helped her with the shame aspect and wanting to embody her sexuality because she’s had a tough time too, and obviously we’ve had a similar upbringing.’

As for her own life, Marianne’s completely transformed. After years of exploring many therapies for various things, particularly surrounding ADHD, her stay on Virgin Island is the one that has revolutionised her relationship with sex and dating. It’s been six months since filming, and the difference is remarkable.

‘I’ve been on a couple dates, often it’s been really nice, and I’ve felt way less anxiety, and I haven’t shut down. It’s been such a great peace of mind,’ she says.

‘I’m proud of going with my gut instinct. A younger Marianne wouldn’t go with her gut, so I’m proud of myself for pushing through. I had a voice, and I didn’t listen to that voice, so now I liken to that voice – I make it my mission.’

Virgin Island airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 9pm on Channel 4 and is available to stream online.

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