This Morning star Dr Ranj Singh has spoken out on social media for the first time since his ex-wife shared a lengthy post about their ‘messy and painful’ divorce.
The TV personality and healthcare professional, now 46, came out as gay aged 30 during his marriage to Sulvinder, after which they divorced in 2011.
On what would have been their 20th wedding anniversary last week, Sulvinder posted about the impact the divorce had on her life, her self-esteem and ability to move forward – saying she felt ‘extremely unattractive’ and ‘ashamed’.
‘I mourned. It was heavy because the future I thought I had was gone and the person that I thought I had married was gone as well,’ she said.
She revealed that despite attempts to ’embrace [her] new life with travelling, partying’, ultimately she let the ‘past dictate her life’ and struggled to ‘let anyone in’.
Sulvinder told her followers that ‘you get to choose what your story is going to be… no one else’, adding that she ‘never wanted’ her ex-husband’s coming out to be her ‘story’.
Upon turning 45, she said: ‘I had no balance. It was all work. I was miserable. It was eating away at me’ and has been trying to transform her life ever since.
Her post has since gone viral, with Dr Ranj – who is in a long-term relationship with partner James Colebrook – now taking to Instagram to say ‘this is something I never expected to revisit’.
He also emphasised he was sharing his side with ‘kindness’ and not intending to take away from anyone else’s story.
Posting a long statement, he began that it’s been almost two decades since that ‘complicated, emotional and deeply personal’ time.
He continued: ‘I’m genuinely sad that this subject can still bring up pain and difficult feelings. That has never been, and would never be, my intention.
‘I’ve only ever spoken about it because it’s a significant period of my life, when asked directly, and in the hope that it might help someone else. I don’t do it for attention or sympathy; it’s a very painful time.’
He made clear he was careful to leave other people’s identities and perspectives out of it when he spoke about that period of his life.
Sharing ‘everything has already been said’ about it, however, he added that ‘people still make assumptions and pass judgement’ but ‘life and relationships are rarely straightforward’.
Explaining the origins of their marriage in his 20s he said that their relationship broke down ‘for many reasons’, including the fact they were ‘young and still working [themselves] out’.
With the support of therapy, he accepted his identity as a gay man but never set out to ‘intentionally try to mislead anyone’. Acknowledging things may have ‘been different’ had he figured out his sexuality earlier, he said ‘identity and sexuality are complex, fluid and evolving things’.
‘We all make decisions and take steps we feel are for the best at the time. Sometimes we get it right, sometimes we don’t. When we don’t, it can be painful and messy, but more than that, it’s just sad and heartbreaking for everyone involved. There are no winners in a breakup,’ he wrote.
Then, he noted the ‘importance’ of their relationship in what they ‘shared’, ‘meant to one another’ and ‘learned from each other’, adding that he ‘looks back at that time, and that person, with nothing but respect, gratitude and kindness.’
Reiterating that life is full of different turns, he said he’s ‘different to the person I was then, and the world has changed too’.
Dr Ranj concluded: ‘It’s important we keep moving forward, which is often easier said than done. As long as every step we take is with kindness – towards others and ourselves – that’s all that matters.’
His words were met with an outpouring of support, including from partner James, who commented: ‘Love you and always proud of you.’
‘Sending you love bud it’s a tough time but you’re handling it with honesty and great strength,’ itsyobogaurav wrote.
‘The courage you have shown and continue to show in how you authentically live your life is always inspiring to me,’ Nadianagamootoo added.
The daytime TV star has previously expressed his regret over the emotional impact this situation had on his ex-wife.
In 2018, he told The Mirror: ‘I was completely broken. It was the lowest point in my life.
‘I can only imagine how hard it was for my wife, though – she didn’t deserve any of that. I feel so incredibly sorry for what she had to go through.’
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