Bucking Fastard promised us bonkers brilliance – instead it’s just relentlessly pointless

From the cheeky title alone, Bucking Fastard held such intrigue and promise.

Add the central conceit of twin sisters who speak in unison and end up digging a tunnel through a mountain range in search of true love? It sounds enjoyably bonkers.

And then the fact it’s from legendary left-field German filmmaker Werner Herzog, a highly unconventional man who has made both Aguirre, Wrath of God and Nosferatu and cooked and eaten his shoe (made into a documentary, naturally)? It’s enticing stuff.

This is the kind of originality that can produce genius.

But sadly, that is not the case for Bucking Fastard; it ends up a film relentless in its commitment to its quirky characters, but ultimately empty and trivial.

Herzog described the ‘torment for decades’ he suffered, hoping to make the film but struggling to find the right actresses for the twin lead parts after a real-life meeting with the film’s loose inspirations, Freda and Greta Chaplin of York, who became a tabloid sensation after their perfectly synchronised court appearance in the 1980s when they were slapped with a restraining order by their neighbour.

This is the starting point for Bucking Fastard (reportedly a spoonerism delivered by the Chaplins in court). Here though, they’re Jean and Jane Holbrooke, played by sisters Kate and Rooney Mara with a comically weird innocence.

The Holbrookes are facing neighbour Gareth Mulroney (Orlando Bloom), a roughish heartbreaker they met in church when he was steaming drunk and quickly jumped into a throuple with, meeting with him in their garden shed where he smugly tells the court they ‘rode me well’.

Set in Ireland, Bloom delivers his best (wayward) attempt at the accent while convincing as an opportunistic philanderer. A kinder, later presence in their lives following their increasingly illegal efforts to woo Gareth back after he dumps them with insulting ease is social worker Timothy (Domhnall Gleeson).

Having fled to another part of the country in shame, Timothy tries to help the Holbrooks deal with their separation anxiety – we’ve seen them struggle to open a tin of sardines together while also composing a letter in unison, writing on one half of the page each and perfectly tying up their half-formed sentences into wholes in an impressive feat of choreography.

But this disjointed film isn’t finished yet, as far too late we get to their decision to dig a tunnel through the mountains to Orkney, where they are convinced they will magically find love again. They also adopt a fox, Cupid, along the way, spending more than two years chiselling away at the rock face.

Herzog has too loosely tied the beats and ideas of Bucking Fastard together – if at all – leaving nowhere for its characters to really go.

While Gareth is left behind in shame and Gleeson underused as Timothy, the Maras’ Jean and Jane don’t really grow either, remaining suspended in some sort of permanent adolescence thanks to their ideas of love and the indulgent infantilisation with which they are treated.

While it’s entertaining to see them crash weddings and waft around in bridal gowns – as well as show off their impressive synchronisation – Bucking Fastard holds no revelation for the sisters at its end, nor proper driving force behind the story.

Despite some off-beat humour, the film somehow manages to be eventful without anything really happening. It’s hollow and ultimately disappointing, largely squandering the talents of everyone involved.

However, it’s certainly a unique film, with technical skill on show from the Maras and a quirky spirit.

But sometimes nuggets of inspiration are just too tricky to tie together and ground in one film. Bucking Fastard has some sporadically entertaining moments, but it’s a muddled and vague letdown otherwise.