Sulvinder Samra, the ex-wife of Dr Ranj Singh, has recalled their ‘messy’ and ‘painful’ split after the TV star came out as gay.
Dr Ranj, 46, known for appearing on This Morning and Lorraine, was married to Sulvinder for seven years before their divorce in 2011.
The former Strictly Come Dancing star came out to her in 2009 and has been in a relationship with actor James Colebrook for over a year.
Today, marking what would have been her 20th wedding anniversary, Sulvinder shared her feelings on how things ended, recalling how she tried to ’embrace [her] new life’ with travelling, partying, and buying a home afterwards.
However, she struggled with letting ‘the past dictate [her] future’, unable to ‘let anyone in’ as she had trust issues with both others and within herself due to her ‘failed marriage’.
Alongside a slideshow of photos, including from her wedding day, she admitted on Instagram that she believed she ‘wouldn’t be a good mum’ and that she ‘did not deserve happiness’ after finding herself single again.
‘On the outside, I was pretending’, she penned. ‘I looked fine but I felt dead inside because I’m not good enough’.
Feeling that the past was ‘out of [her] control’, she only started feeling better about herself three years ago, committing to ‘facing [her] fears’ and challenging her ‘shame’.
Sulvinder told her followers that ‘you get to choose what your story is going to be… no one else’, stating that she ‘never wanted’ her ex-husband’s coming out to be her ‘story’.
Delving further into past events with an emotional caption, Sulvinder shared: ‘I grew up being told that I must set a good example, get a good education, a good job, and an Indian husband.
‘It was a strict upbringing and the responsibility felt heavy. I saw university as an escape route.
‘After some rebellion, I graduated, got a job as a Pharmacist, met my future husband and started married life.
‘Married life was not easy and then the cracks started to show. What I will say is there is not a lonelier feeling than feeling alone in a marriage.’
She added that ‘both parties were hurting’ when their marriage broke down, with divorce the ‘only option’.
‘I mourned. It was heavy because the future I thought I had was gone and the person that I thought I had married was gone as well.’
Sulvinder went on to ‘question everything’, feeling ‘extremely unattractive’ and retreating back home where it ‘felt safe’.
Upon turning 45, she was confronted with the daunting prospects of her future, asking herself: ‘Is this what my life is going to be?’
‘I had no balance. It was all work. I was miserable. It was eating away at me.’
From there, she quit her job, set up a business, and attempted to ‘dissolve old beliefs’.
Sulvinder met Dr Ranj after he qualified in 2003. They tied the knot in a traditional Sikh ceremony in 2006.
Dr Ranj came out aged 30, previously declaring that he ‘loved’ his wife, making the process of separating all the more ‘heartbreaking’.
‘I was completely broken. It was the lowest point in my life,’ he told The Mirror in 2018.
He added: ‘I can only imagine how hard it was for my wife, though – she didn’t deserve any of that.
‘I feel so incredibly sorry for what she had to go through.’
Dr Ranj, who is open and proud about his sexuality now, spoke about his marriage to Sulvinder again this week as he told the Big Issue that, despite ticking ‘all [his] boxes’ with a successful career and marriage, he was still not ‘100% happy’.
Noting that something was ‘not right’, he went to therapy, which encouraged him to address his suppressed feelings, fracturing what he believed was a ‘perfect life’.
Dr Ranj came out to his brothers in a ‘beautiful moment’ 10 years before he felt able to have the conversation with his parents, telling Metro in 2024 that he was ‘scared’ of their reactions.
He added: ‘I braced myself for the worst, but what followed was beyond my wildest dreams. “We love you, no matter what,” Dad said softly. My mum, though visibly shaken, nodded in agreement.
“You are our son, and nothing will change that. Why didn’t you tell us before? We could have been there for you”, she said.’
Dr Ranj hailed his parents’ ‘unconditional acceptance’ as ‘everything [he] had ever needed’.
Then, last year, he went public with his romance with James, confirming their relationship on Instagram.
The sweet couple regularly posts pictures and videos together and often makes joint red carpet appearances.
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