My 66th birthday, my granddaughter’s 1st birthday, and Donald Trump’s 80th, all fell within the same week, and it is hard to resist juxtaposing these three very different occasions, to understand the values they display.
Mine came first. I’ve been feeling low key, so my plan was to do nothing. I didn’t want more stuff, or a fancy meal downtown. I don’t need anybody to put on a show in order for me to feel good about myself.
My wife, bless her heart, played along, though she broke down at the last minute and commanded, “Go to Sunset and buy yourself a cake,” as she breezed out the door to the train. So I did — I’m good at following instructions — a little triple chocolate confection that served nicely.
Otherwise, I ran errands — took the dog to the groomer — and spent much of the day in the basement, going over a wooden box with steel wool, buffing the finish. The box containing wooden blocks I had cut and sanded and finished as a 1st birthday present.
Went by quick, right? I don’t remark in print upon my grandchildren, other than the fact of their existence, because their parents, quite wisely, view the internet not as the balm and drug we old people do, but as a menace. Meta might be big now, but so was ketchup, and if enough young people avoid it, maybe the thing will also fade. Something to look forward to.
Caution is the watchword. And it’s contagious. The finish for the blocks was carefully chosen for its non-toxicity — plain shellac, that comes from the thorax of the female lac bug. So safe it’s also used to coat food, like apples. Though the finish was the second concern. My first concern, in designing the blocks, was to find out the dimensions that can’t be swallowed by an infant — a cube 1.25 inches on a side — and so I made my blocks 1.5 inch cubes, with other sizes multiples of that.
I suppose that buffing a set of blocks is not the peak, kick-him-in-the-chest masculinity we supposedly saw on display in Washington over the weekend. But then, the notion that there is only one way to be a good man, or woman, or person, or whatever, is a big reason our country is in such a mess. I’m not threatened by men oiling themselves up and wrestling in their underwear, whether in a UFC cage match or some Halsted Street club. Why should they care if a man builds blocks, or reads poetry, or bakes? Frankly, it seems like weakness on their part — lack of faith in their own path. Though the truth is worse than that: a key part of being a hater is positing imaginary harms to yourself in a futile attempt to justify your own bitterness.
The next day we drove 400 miles to deliver the blocks and attend a party with cake and streamers. When fellow guests expressed wonder that we’d make the 800-mile round trip drive to attend a child’s party, I replied with utter candor: of course we did, Who wouldn’t? The thought not to never crossed either of our minds.
Leading us to the last party, for the president’s 80th birthday. I imagine you already know all about it, and if you don’t, I’m reluctant to be the person to fill you in. Let’s just say both vomit and grotesque racial slurs were involved. And honestly, you don’t need to know. I came to this epiphany, not watching cage fighters punch each other in the face on the South Lawn, but during the breathless live feed waiting for the Trump name to come down from the Kennedy Center. Social media was panting with it over the weekend.
Sure, you could view the removal as a win. As proof the tide can roll back. The illegal rebranding of the Kennedy Center was reversed by a court and, in a rare departure, the administration appears to have actually respected the law, removing Trump’s name from the cultural institution he ruined.
The bated breath excitement over a tiny symbolic victory was unseemly. Yes, at this point in our slide toward autocracy, we can’t be blamed for taking joy in even a small win. But don’t be distracted either. Don’t spike the ball until you’re in the end zone. The federal government is still vigorously trying to wrest elections from state control, the better to corrupt the process and deprive Americans of their right to vote. Trying to choke off the mail-in ballots sent out by the United States Postal Service. Between now and November, that struggle is really the only thing that matters. Everything else is noise and distraction, bread and circuses.