Harriette Cole: How to deal with being yelled at by the boss

DEAR HARRIETTE: Regarding the intern who was yelled at by a company executive in a meeting (“Vulnerable Intern”): Welcome to the working world.

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This man’s behavior isn’t acceptable, but it’s not unusual.

Often, people don’t speak out against it because a management figure instills fear in his staff, and you can sense that tension when they are together in meetings or other business functions.

I agree that talking to your manager about the outburst will help you best understand what the vibe is in the office when it comes to this executive’s expectations.

Also, don’t let his actions demean the importance of your work. Continue to work on your project and do the best that you can — and perhaps when your internship is over, look for a different place to pursue your career.

— Just My Thoughts

DEAR JUST MY THOUGHTS: I appreciate your insights. Striking a balance between keeping your head down so you can learn from each situation and speaking up for yourself can be hard to find, especially in tense situations with leadership. That’s why strategy is so important.

We have to let go of some ideals as we keep our eyes on the big picture, though let us never forget that how we treat other people is extremely important as we grow our lives and create a reputation for ourselves.

Learn from the bad examples what not to do, and surround yourself with people you respect to help you keep your wits about you as you journey through life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m feeling so lost and alone.

My dog Georgie and I are inseparable, having grown up side by side and having created so many cherished memories together. Lately, he’s been really sick, and the vet mentioned that it might be kinder to let him go peacefully to end his suffering.

I just can’t bring myself to make that heartbreaking choice. The guilt of possibly being selfish by clinging to him is tearing me apart inside. It’s a real gut-wrencher.

— Fur Best Friend

DEAR FUR BEST FRIEND: First, I want to acknowledge the pain you are feeling. Pets become part of the family, and you love them just as you would a sibling or child.

When they live a long time, like Georgie, it is only natural that you would have grown so close to him that you cannot imagine life without him. And yet, dogs do not live anywhere near as long as people do. So for people with dogs in their lives, learning how to let them go when it is their time is part of being a responsible, kind pet parent.

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Yes, you should be sad, and yes, you should do what is kindest for your dog.

Today, veterinarians go the distance, often beyond, to keep animals alive. Modern scientific discoveries have made it so that many ailments that dogs (and other animals) have can be addressed in order to prolong their lives. If your vet is telling you that Georgie is at the point where it is time to let him go, trust him.

As difficult as this moment is, you can say goodbye to Georgie knowing that you loved him and cared for him as best you could. You can mourn his loss without prolonging his pain.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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